I hadn't seen my little cousin Kevin in over 3 years. The last time we'd met was only for a quick hello at Joshua's christening...he wasn't so little anymore, he'd easily outgrown me and then some. Prior to that meeting, maybe 8 or 10 years had passed since we'd previously talked. I won't go into the petty details of the various feuds that have kept our families apart, but needless to say there was never any personal conflict between myself and Kevin. My most vivid memories of him, were therefore of our childhood...of Xmas and New Year's parties, playing practical jokes on Santa (Nanu)...of playing in the back paddock and looking for fox dens in the wood pile...of teaching him how to "Bee Gee" his voice with helium gas straight out of the tank...then watching him pass out backwards into a pile of laundry because he'd sucked down a little bit too much!! And all the while that infectious giggle, that cheeky smile, that tremendous love and affection for everyone.When Mum called last week to tell me that Kevin had committed suicide I couldn't understand why? How? I didn't really know Kevin, the man, maybe the people that were closer to him than I had been over the last few years could answer these questions...but no, they had no answers either...from all accounts my memories of Kevin, my little cousin, would not have diminished with age.
I stopped asking myself why. The time for crying is not yet over, moments of quiet reflection will inevitably lead to a tear being shed. Tears of sadness for a life taken, tears of sympathy for his immediate family and loved ones and tears of regret for the missing years. If anything positive could possibly come from Kevin's death, it is that family's can put aside their differences and unite in support of one another. Who knows, maybe this will be a catalyst for family to look forward, start afresh and forget the mistakes of the past. I sure as hell hope so, anyway...
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